Bottom Feeder

Sorry seeder, bottom feeder. What might it mean to seed sorry in someone?

Body feeder, bottom feeder. Ooh – that's who you are. I hate the way you ride a bike down an alley like you're not a 25 year old man for Christ sake. Sorry seeder, bottom feeder. I hate the layout of your body under your clothes. Sorry seeder, bottom feeder. I hate the way I hate your puffy pink, I should be revulsed and I kind of am lips. Sorry seeder, bottom feeder.

I kind of was.

I love the way you unzip me from my body like it was a dress. I love the way you take me out of my pain, sorry seeder, bottom feeder. You have stupid taste in glasses and your hair is already so thin, you sorry seeder, bottom feeder. You talk and I just want to punch you in the face. You kiss and I melt. You threaten me with a good time and everything in me just wants to die – sorry seeder, bottom feeder.

You're not good enough to be a bird. You're not light or beautiful enough. And you're not bird enough to remember fondly, sorry seeder, bottom feeder. Best you're going to get from me is your weight was pretty great in the dark after you'd worn my resistance down and I couldn't see your face. You had no body flight and couldn't latin dance for shit but you sure could kiss. You were a great threat in a car on a sunny afternoon. But other than that, you were a sorry seeder, bottom feeder. Other than your victim, I was an eventual willing participant, sorry seeder, bottom feeder. After you turned one light off in me then threw on another. After that, I've been the sorry seeder, bottom feeder. But when I've done it all these years, it was for sustenance. I wasn't like you – feeding to take something from someone.

Sorry seeder, bottom feeder – fuck you.

I wrote earlier that maybe you were a person, only an idiot with his own pain and that maybe I should let go of my anger but I'm not ready to. I don't like you now. I didn't like you then. I made that clear and that should have been enough for you, sorry seeder, bottom feeder. I hope somewhere out in the universe you can't sleep tonight thinking you should feel terrible about the way you treated me because you should.

Sorry seeder, bottom, bottom, bottom feeder.

This came out when I gave my body a voice inside Body Writers, my somatic writing and healing circle. Learn to give your body a voice here.

Certified Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy Coach, INFJ Empath, Somatic Writing Coach For Deeply Sensitive Womxn

I help deeply sensitive womxn resolve somatic trauma and come home to their bodies through writing. The work we do together centers self-exploratory writing that gives voice to what your body holds. I have a gift for intuitively guiding you into this practice. And we do this through a safe, trauma-informed approach so you never have to be afraid of what you’ll find.

Let's start your journey for peace inside your body.

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